Seattle, WA
19 April 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/30s :: ISO-1600

Dear Stranger;

There's been a gap between the emotions I've felt and their corresponding expressive release and I've been finding that there are people out there that can much better connect the two things--and are courageous and generous enough to share with us, whether we struggle or not. And then there are some that really know how to express what's happening inside of you and that's a little bit of terrifying, a little bit of validation, a little bit of comfort, and a little bit of healing.

I've been digging this new album, for sure.

Magically,
-j

Mukilteo, WA
5 April 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/8s :: ISO-1600

Dear Stranger;

It's always been such a privilege to witness the joy in my friends, to celebrate the highs, and to help out during the lows. This weekend was definitely one for the highs, and I couldn't be happier for a colleague-turned-friend, and to bring to life a lot of the stories and personalities that were at first stories. I think that's what it is: everything comes to life at someone's wedding, and it's as much lovely as it is magical. And when the bride walks in to the tune of your favourite Taylor Swift song? *chef's kiss*

It's a pretty small world, too.

Magically,
-j

Everett, WA
19 March 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.22 1/509s :: ISO-40

Dear Stranger;

There's nothing poetic or artistic about where my mind is at this week: it's in a swirl of things to do and managing the bandwidth that remains for time to recharge. I'm not sure what happened lately as I'm finding there's more of a demand for my time than years past, which only causes the recharge cycle to elongate in proportion to the increased duration of time spent in a state of discharge, so that's my current challenge, but I think what I'm needing is an outlet to emote.

The more I listen through my playlist, the more I'm finding how much I can identify to well-crafted lyrics and yet I'm still trying to manage my excitement to not over-hype myself either, but I think I can already see myself feeling the emotions in the coming weeks, the more I just...I don't know. I just want words to describe things sometimes, but maybe even more so, I think I just want some things to make sense (like whatever the hell I'm trying to jot down here) for more than a few words at a time, to write a sentence that flows instead of a paragraph of fits and starts.

I kinda wish life was a little like a train ride for a bit–something smooth, flowing, soothing, and moving.

Maybe I just need to ride all of this out for the time being.

Magically,
-j

Seattle, WA
10 March 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/1.78 1/450s :: ISO-80

Dear Stranger;

I'm behind, I'm ahead, I'm on schedule all at once. I'm excited, I'm terrified, I'm unprepared and I'm really ready all at once, too, and despite everything, here I am still feeling like I'm continuing to push through.

Lately I've been trying to find a bit of calm by taking a train ride that goes up and down the coast–it's actually a commuter train, but there are usually plenty of seats on the double-decker coaches and if I leave work on the first bus, I can usually make it down to catch the northbound commuter train for a good hour of peace and quiet. There's something really calming about the quiet rumble of the locomotive (on the northbound run it pushes the coaches) and the clanky noise the coach's suspension makes, combined with the gentle sway of the train car at certain places along the journey that helps me tune out for a bit of relief from the daily pressures and stresses. It's been hard finding time to recharge, so taking this train has been a wonderful discovery as I get to take in views that are hard to access on a day-to-day.

It's been so busy.

I need to keep making bracelets and I'd really like to write a letter, too. Maybe I'll do that the next time I catch a relaxation train.

Stress is a wild thing to live with.

Otherwise, the sun is now setting after 7 PM, rising before 7 AM within the month, I'm sure, and I think I'll just have to cut my losses and say goodbye to Orion for this season and see if I can revisit the pinwheel galaxy or some other galaxy. There's also a comet I'd like to photograph but, to be honest, I'm probably not going to have any time for astrophotography until some time toward the end of May–which I suppose is coming up fast.

What's something you're excited about these days?

Magically,
-j

Seattle, WA
3 March 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/37s :: ISO-1250

Dear Stranger;

On one hand, I don't want to be wishing my life away and yet on the other hand I really wish we could plow through to the other side of whatever any shit show that we may be forced to deal with.

Unrelated: I took a picture to clear my mind.

Magically,
-j

Everett, WA
23 February 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/1.78 1/40s :: ISO-1000

Dear Stranger;

Sometimes a fog comes over and you have to slow down a bit, check yourself and your vitals (hopefully figuratively, but literally, if need be), and start looking around to make sure you're still aware and are heading where you want to be, and then continue on course–letting your friends know you're okay if you have to. It's a life version of the pilot saying that goes, "aviate, navigate, communicate," and lately I think I've been running into a little of a fog where I have to start looking at my proverbial instruments and slow myself down a bit in order to keep myself upright and flying level and in the right direction.

It's interesting because those that have known me for some time knew that I spent a lot of time making fun of an artist because of things I would hear about them in celebrity gossip shows, tabloids, and things my friends would say until I, out of sheer curiosity, and well before streaming became the dominant format for consuming music, purchased one of their CDs having heard that they actually write their own music. At the same time, I was going through a pretty challenging time in my life, and here I was listening to music that was relatable and relevant for that time in my life and it was at that time I also realised: I've misunderstood this person.

Maybe that's where things go from wholesome to wholesome and ironic, and I think this might be why friends that have always been fans of this artist have simply welcomed me into the "community" so enthusiastically. Friends that have come relatively later in my life have always known I'm a fan, but some that have known me for some time still think I'm being ironic, which is a very interesting place to be as I'm a subject in my very own experiment on what it's like to be misunderstood, which has made for a feedback loop in watching their fans, listening to their song (now I'm really paying attention to the lyrics), and I think this is the feedback loop that has made me start to look inward and seek to understand others whenever that period of ambiguity of "wait, are you serious?" starts to set in. Somehow, it's led to a really deep dive into how I, with all of the tools I'm gathering from other things I do, can make myself a better human by knowing when the amusement ends and either pain or connection can begin.

Without going too deep into that, as it's way past my bedtime, I just want to note for myself that I'm really excited to be in the room with potentially 65,000 others that know what it's like to be misunderstood. I've never been to a show this big, let alone flying in a country where I've never been with a language that I don't normally speak, and I'm both scared and excited leading up to it, and finally I'm at a place in my life where I don't have to worry about pleasing others and I can finally experience a show of this magnitude–I've finally given myself permission to do something nice for myself.

It's been a long time coming...

What's got you nervous but excited lately?

Magically,
-j

Seattle, WA
18 February 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/30s :: ISO-1250

Dear Stranger;

This massive building that is an extension to our Convention Centre used to be a hole in the ground where we'd catch buses to go through the downtown transit tunnel and everything–it was a nice intermediate stop that served four bus lines that conveniently took me home, too, but inevitably comes change and I think the hardest part is always going through that initial part where you have to re-assess what you have and evaluate all of the options for going forward. It's the recurring theme of life, for sure, and yet even the things we do to power through will need to change as well.

We grow, we learn, and I don't think that'll ever change, it's just the how that will always have to keep up with the times.

Some days, though, it feels exhausting, and yet some days we can't stop. I'm not sure how that all works, but it does for me, so I just try and make the most of things that come my way–like when your air carrier completely obliterates your itinerary that you've booked over 6 months in advance and needs to rebook you for whatever reason. Huh? Something to work on, but I'm saving it for tomorrow, because right now I'm out of bandwidth.

How do you manage surprises?

Magically,
-j

Seattle, WA
15 February 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/60s :: ISO-320

Dear Stranger;

Today is one of the hardest days to find something to write about, and I this year is going to be yet another one of those days, but I will say today I did have the traditional noodles for long life (even if it was spaghetti, but I love spaghetti, so...), allowed myself to sleep in by not setting an alarm, but I didn't realise how much I needed that until I saw the clock after waking up and it was 11 in the morning. I did take advantage of a few freebies that come around this time of year, partly to just get myself out of the apartment, and took some time to jot/sketch a few ideas before I forget them, but otherwise I'm continuing to survive the day. Don't have a dramatically beautiful picture other than a moment from today, don't have any profound words,

It's a challenge when, some time ago, life has made a day to forget of the day you must remember, but slowly we work on this and slowly we make progress, and until we're through to the other side (whatever that may look like), every little bit of progress is worth some credit–and if we can learn to humbly and genuinely give this to ourselves, that's a win no matter what anyone says. Nobody can take that away.

Time for me to secretly buy someone's drink (baristas are always so helpful with these shenanigans)...

What's a triumph you've had that you feel really proud of? Go for it–I'm giving you the space in the comments to shine.

Magically,
-j

P.S. I went to dinner at a friend's store where they cook a south Indian meal every Thursday, and wouldn't you know, one of the visitors they knew, who was stopping by to drop off a few ice cream samples for a pop-up collaboration they were doing, knew someone who is affiliated to one of my earliest Xanga followers. Funny how things alway seem to come back to Xanga...

Seattle, WA
15 February 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/2.2 1/30s :: ISO-1000

Seattle, WA
9 February 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/1.78 1/121s :: ISO-64

Dear Stranger;

I think there's a lot to say about kindness, and I think genuine kindness–the kind where it's not transactional or anything–seems to be really hard to come by these days, but may you find yourself surrounded by this type of kindness wherever you may be.

I know it has to be good.

Magically,
-j

Seattle, WA
2 February 2024 :: iPhone 14 Pro Max :: f/1.78 1/40s :: ISO-640

Dear Stranger;

I don't know how to describe or what I'm feeling is supposed to be called, but it's some kind of bubbly mixture of hope, excitement, tingling through my fingers and toes but also a good kind of exhaustion.

I know, I should try to sleep better. But man, there's so much to see and so much to make!

Magically,
-j